One down

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Did you hear that?

Whoooosh.

That was the first month of 2014.

I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that it’s the end of January already.

I know that the older we get, the more quickly time passes, but seriously?

The speed with which this month has passed has served as a reminder that time is finite, and we are to use our time well.  I came into January planning to take the time to think about my goals and intentions for 2014 and beyond, and to really look at how I would implement all this into my life.

Just like I have for the last I-don’t-know-how-many years.

But for the first time, I’ve actually done what I set out to do – the difference this time was that in being intentional, I’ve realised this wasn’t an activity that would take a few hours and I’d be on my merry way.  So far, it’s taken all of January to sort through allthethings in my  head and to get them on paper, to see them take form in a way that makes me think ‘this can actually happen’.

It’s all still a work in progress, but I’m learning that that’s the point – it’s always a work in progress.  It’s taken me all of January to sort and tease out and plan and listen for God’s words to see what this year is going to look like, what changes need to be made and what goals will be made real.

I’m nowhere near ‘there’ yet (finishing planning) and it’s a step forward, a step back in implementing changes and new habits, acting on my intentions.

But it’s still progress, because even when I stumble, I’m falling forward.  I’m learning to breathe in grace and breathe out love when it doesn’t go to plan.  I’m learning that the unknown doesn’t have to be known now, and that whatever fills the space I can’t see clearly will be ok, because God can see what I can’t.

So tomorrow is a bit like January 1 for me, figuratively speaking.  Some new things to come, and old things to put away.  Onward and upward, keep falling forward.

What about you?  How is 2014 panning out so far?  How is your dreaming and planning and goal-setting progressing?

Jesus, baths and an Irish drinking song

In my job, I work with people who have been injured at work, and helping them return to work, and a lot of that involves working with them to build a ‘toolkit’ to work through the process, the tools that they need to achieve their goals, and to deal with pain and frustration and disappointment.

And to celebrate the wins.

Sounds like every day life, really, doesn’t it?

We all have pain, and loss, and frustration and disappointment.  And we all have wins and joys and reasons to celebrate.

Identifying ‘tools’ to help us deal with whatever life throws at us makes the whole process so much easier, as they give us something to work with for encouragement, for inspiration, for comfort and hope.

Hope

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. -Desmond Tutu #quotes #hope #light

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The biggest, most powerful tool I have is hope in Jesus.  Even when I don’t feel like it, I know, without fail, that it is Him and Him alone who knows what I need, and who will never let me fall.

Splish-Splash

Free up space in your vanity by storing bath essentials right on the tub! More easy bath storage: http://www.bhg.com/bathroom/storage/storage-solutions/easy-bath-storage/?socsrc=bhgpin062313tub=10

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My next never-fail tool is a long, hot bath.  There is no other option than long, and hot, and it is always made better with a book. Through some times of my life, that’s the only time I get to read, and incidentally, the frequency of baths as opposed to showers increases during these times…….

Seriously, it is a cure-all for everything.  When my joints or back flare up, the heat is the best painkiller there is.  After a loooooong, mentally draining day, everything melts away in the water.  When I’m grasping onto the fraying ends of my rope with the kids, I can shut the door, and they can see the invisible Do Not Cross tape across the doorway.  And when everything is right in the world, it is made so much more wonderful with bubbles and candles.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

if there was 1 wish i had for you, it would b that i could take your nightmares away for a night that we are together so that you could really be present. Please tell me if there is as i want to be WITH you not just a presence.

But I obviously can’t just jump in the bath whenever life gets real.  I can, however, take deep breaths.  Lots of them.  For as long as I need.  Taking deep, slow breaths reduces your heart rate, lowers your blood pressure, reduces the stress hormones running around your body, and helps promote a sense of calm.  Which is really helpful when you’re struggling to engage the filter between the words in your head and your mouth. Or to not let the thoughts trying to overwhelm you succeed.

Catching the worm

Lemony Snicket – Morning Quote visit www.facebook.com/placesbali

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I’ve never been what I would call a morning person, but somehow, I’ve become one.  In our house, the morning belongs to me, and I guard it fiercely.  I have learnt over the last few years that the most effective way to set up a day that will go well is to get up early, usually while it’s still dark, and wait for the light.  There is something almost

All I need is the air that I breathe

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It doesn’t have to be a grand example of creation, but simply getting outside does wonders for my heart and soul, I know when it’s been too long because I start to feel antsy, and I need to feel the warmth of the sun or the crispness of the cool in the air, even just for 5 minutes.  Get me to the beach, and nothing in the world can worry me.

Crazy little thing called Love

love

I wrote about my word for 2014 here.  Seriously, find a word and start living it out loud every day.

You’ve got the music in you

Quotes: Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest. Heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.

Music has been vital to the very centre of my being since I first learnt the words to ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ by heart, recognising the power of knowing a song intimately and how it made me feel.  I grew up with my parent’s songs, both old and new, and developed my own loves along the way.  I have nearly always had a song that has brought me comfort, hope, resonance and connection through various seasons and trials and victories in my life, and I firmly believe that God has given us music as a gift, and that He speaks through the words that inspire the writers.

“Beautiful music is the art of the prophets that can calm the agitations of the soul; it is one of the most magnificent and delightful presents God has given us.” — Martin Luther

This year, I’ve intentionally chosen two songs that encourage me, uplift me, make me smile and make me just stop and turn to God, songs that I know will see me through whatever the year brings.  I’ve already shared with you the delight that is ‘The Best Is Yet To Come’ by Paul Colman (scroll down for the video clip), a rollicking tune that speaks to acknowledging what was in time past, and looking ahead to what will be in the time to come.

My other song is one that makes me just stop, every single time.  ‘Oceans’ by Hillsong United leaves me wanting more, more of Jesus, more of the life He has promised that I can live to the full, more of Him and less of me.  Just listen.  I promise you’ll get it.

Nom nom nom

clean food

Good, whole, clean food.  Simple as that.  I learnt from my first Whole 30 last year just how much the food affects me.  How simple, from-the-earth, unprocessed food makes me feel amazing, and that pretty much everything else leaves me wondering when I tucked into the contents of the kitty litter tray and then licked it for good measure (at least, I imagine that’s what that would feel like).  Now this isn’t as simple as it sounds for me – the practice, yes, but my head?  Not so much – I still have a push/pull with feeling like I’m missing out, and being grateful that I have the option to make a choice about what I eat.  But good food remains a tool in my box – when my overall health and wellness isn’t so great, going back to basics works better than any thing else.

So that’s the core of my toolkit.  There are other bits and pieces I use along the way, but all of the above is what gets me through life, through all the ups and downs.

I’d love to know what’s in your toolkit.  What helps you just keep putting one step in front of the other?  What makes you thrive in your life?  What can you not live without?

The beginning of the beginning.

10 years ago today, I made a decision that changed the course of the life of our family forever.

I decided to leave my husband.

And the crazy thing is, if I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

It took the complete breakdown of our marriage for us to learn just what it means to love someone, to learn what marriage is really all about, and for us each to find out who we are as individuals.

If we hadn’t gone through the breaking, the threshing, the refining, we wouldn’t have been ready for the rebuilding.  We wouldn’t have been ready or available for new foundations to be laid, for the construction of our new relationship to be built out of hope and faith and love.

Now, just to clarify, I am not an advocate of divorce.  I believe in fighting for a marriage with every ounce of your being, even when it feels like you’re being turned inside out and dragged along the ground, if that’s what it takes to save what you vowed and declared you would commit to forever, that day it all began for you and your spouse.

I believe that as a society, we give up on marriage too easily – we give up when it gets too hard, when it doesn’t feel like we think it should, when we feel like we’re not getting what we deserve, when we feel like our needs aren’t being met, when we’re wounded and hurt and feeling like our spouse isn’t living up to our expectations.  And we collectively give each other permission to do the same.

It’s no wonder the divorce rate is as high as it is, because all of us feel like that in every relationship we have, not just the ones with our spouses – family, friends, work colleagues, but our spouses are the only ones we can legally dissolve a relationship with.

When we say ‘I do’, they’re not just two little words.  They are a seal on a contract that binds us together for life – not just for today, and tomorrow, and maybe in ten years time, but forever.

That’s why I left my husband.  For all the reasons above, and more.  There was no specific ‘incident’, or ‘problem’ as such, just a collection of wounds and hurts and bitterness accumulated over time, each of us constantly wishing the other would change, but not realising that it was ourselves that had to change.

The moment of truth came quietly – it was the day before our youngest child’s first birthday, and we got into a fight over the proposed birthday celebration.  As it always did, the argument turned to ‘you always, you never, I wish you would….’ etc, etc, etc – an argument I could have scripted, we had had it so many times.  But that time, something shifted, and in a moment of stunning clarity, the thought came – ‘I can’t change him’.

I was never going to be able to make him change into who I thought I wanted him to be.

But I couldn’t keep living the way we were, none of us could.

So a couple of weeks later, I left.

And it was the beginning of who we were always meant to be.

It took a long haul through court, a divorce, years of healing before we could speak to each other again, and more years of learning to communicate and trust, for us to rebuild our relationship as co-parents and eventually as friends.  We were laying the foundations of our new relationship, or more to the point, God was laying anew the foundations of the relationship He has always planned for us to have.

And now here we are.

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Living a real-life mosaic, building something beautiful out of the broken pieces of our lives.

10 years later, what feels like a lifetime wiser and with a whole lot of life lessons under our belts , we are both very different people to who we were when we really didn’t understand what marriage what supposed to be.

That it’s putting someone before yourself every. single. day.

That it’s knowing that the whole deal is messy and complicated and frustrating, and that there are going to be times we just don’t like being where we have to be.

That it’s working out what someone needs and doing what we can to give it to them.

That’s it’s simply doing things we don’t feel like doing.

That it’s beautiful, and wondrous, and amazing that two people can make the choice to keep turning up day after day and facing life together.

That in committing to for better or worse, there’s always someone to walk through the pain and difficulties of life with.

That it is always, always worth it.

We are building our relationship based on what we’ve learned through our experience, and what we want our marriage to be.  It looks very different now to what it did so many years ago, and I thank-God every day for that.

10 years ago, as a young mum with 3 little kids and my world falling down around me, I had no idea what the future held in store.    Thankfully, my God did, and because He is in the business of making all things new, we now get to live out the story written for us.

We’re living proof that there are always new beginnings, sometimes it just takes getting through the endings to see what they are.

And it is always, always worth it.

This is Australia

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In 1770, Captain James Cook discovered Australia, and 226 years ago today, on the 26th of January 1788, Captain Arthur Phillip commanded  the First Fleet as it sailed into Botany Bay (in Sydney, New South Wales).

It was the first European settlement on Australian soil, and and they came to a land that had been inhabited by the the Aboriginal people for thousands of years, a land that was vastly different from the mother England they had left to venture to a new world.

The Australia of today could not have been imagined by the British government as they planned a new penal colony in a land far, far away.  Whatever their vision may have been, I love my country, for the life I get to live here and for what it has grown into over 200+ years.

During the 31 Days writing challenge, Anne over at Modern Mrs Darcy wrote about one of my favourite Australia movies ever in her cult classics series, and some of the comments in response to the post got me thinking about the peculiarities and eccentricites of this country.  As Aussies, we often have to explain nuances of Australian culture and ‘Australian-isms’ to those who haven’t lived here for any length of time.

So for the last few months, I’ve been thinking about introducing a series about all things Australian – history, culture, facts and figures, and everything celebrating the unique lot that we are.  Australia Day seems the perfect time to start, so here we are!  We’ll kick off with some facts and figures about this Great Southland, and I’ll be asking you all for what you’d like to know more about.

This is Australia

– Australia is an island continent, the only country in the world that is its’ own continent, with a surface area of 7,692,024 sq. kms.

– Australia is a nation made up of 6 states – South Australia, New South Wales, Victoria, Queensland, Tasmania and Western Australia – and 2 territories, the Australian Capital Territory and the Northern Territory.  After originally being 6 independent British colonies, Australia became an independent nation on January 1, 1901.

– The capital of Australia is Canberra (ACT).

– As of today, the population of Australia is approximately 23,364,300, and the main language is English.

– Approximately 80% of the population live along the coastline of the country, within 100km of the coast.

– Australia is a constitutional monarchy, which means we have a head of state in Queen Elizabeth II, who is represented in Australia by the Governor-General.

– Our head of government is Tony Abbott, the Prime Minister.

– Our currency is the Australian dollar, and we use the metric system (which includes measurement, weight and temperature).

– We have a universal health care system, that provides free hospital care and subsidised primary care.

– The average life expectancy is 79.5 years for men, and 84 for women.

– As we are in the southern hemisphere, it’s warmer in the north and cooler in the south.  We are also one of the driest continents, with an average of less than 600mm rainfall annually (I live in South Australia, which is the driest state in the country, making it one of the driest places on earth.  Not that you’d know it where I live!!)

(Sources herehere, here and here)

Short and sweet for now, but it gives you a snapshot of the land where I live, this amazing, beautiful, breathtaking, quirky country with a history of triumph, heartbreak, progress and tragedy.

So tell me, what do you want to know about Australia?  History?  Stories?  Sport, art, culture?  Come and chat in the comments, and I’ll do my best to help!

I’ll leave you with an iconic song that sings the story of how we came to be.  Whether we born here from a long line of generations, or arrived on our shores seeking a new life, we are all part of this place called Australia.

Goals and intentions in 2014 – and why I’m not sharing them

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So for the last 10 years or so, I have set goals, made resolutions, done all the things we do with a bright, shiny New Year – and failed with pretty much 98% of them.  Because that’s something new, right?

Over the last couple of years, and particularly the last couple of months, I’ve been taking the time to really look at why that happens, and what stops me from achieving the goals I set for myself.

It’s really very simple – fear.

I wrote last week about what it is I’ve been afraid of, and how I’ve made a very intentional choice to no longer be bound by fear.

And you know what?

It’s working.

I kid you not – barely a week later, and the difference in my life is astounding.  From what goes on in my head to how I behave in my relationships, turning away from fear and choosing love instead is changing my life.

I have been learning and more and more over the last little while of my life that we operate from two places in our life – love and fear.  That’s it.  Everything we think, feel and do can be traced back to love or fear, and I feel like I’m stating the obvious when I elaborate to say that all the good, beautiful, joyful, positive things in our life originate from love, and all the negative, ugly, hurtful and horrible things in life come from fear (just for the record, the jury’s still out on pain – in my experience, pain can certainly come from love).

This concept is something I’ve been exploring through what I know of God and His plan for us as His creation – to live a life of love, as He first loved us, and that there is no fear in love, for perfect love drives out fear.  It’s something that has really challenged me over the last 6 months particularly, as I’m someone who very easily falls prey to fear and worry, and it takes a lot of effort for me to turn away from wanting to prepare for what I see as the inevitable, or the ‘it could happen’, and to choose to embrace love and find hope and joy.

So I was VERY excited to stumble across Dr Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist who studies and researches the mind-brain connection, and writes about how our thoughts control our actions.  Including the concept of there only being two primary emotions – love and fear – and how our toxic thoughts control our lives (which we have the ability to change!!!).  You can bet I’ll be tracking down and devouring everything I can get my hands on because people, this is the key to living life – what we think controls what we do, and if our thoughts are shrouded in fear, we cannot live from a place of love, because if we feel one, we cannot feel the other.

If we focus on fear, we can’t see love, but when we focus on love, fear doesn’t even get a look-in.  That, my friends, is what is changing my life.  I’m not saying it’s easy, and that all of a sudden my life is sunshine and roses, but embracing this way of living, and being intentional about it, is turning my brain from a default of ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can and I will’.

I still get cross with my kids.

I still get frustrated with myself when things don’t go to plan.

I still worry about the ‘what ifs’.

But the difference is that I recognise how I feel, and choose to think differently.  I apologise to the kids and give them a hug.  I give myself some grace and just keep going.  I remind myself that God knows everything I need, and has already prepared the way ahead of me.

So what does this all have to do with my goals and intentions?

I want them to work this time.  I mean I really, really, really want them to work.  So I need to do something different.

In the past, I have spent time planning and strategising and calendar-ing what it is I want to achieve.  And then I tell lots of people, in the hope of making myself accountable.  But inevitably, all my good intentions go by the wayside, for two reasons – I give up when it gets too hard/uncomfortable/boring/frustrating, and I don’t ask anyone to be an accountability partner.

This year, I’ve still been planning and strategising and writing things in my diary, but I’ve taken my time, and just let the process happen, rather than trying to force something that’s never going to happen.  I also came across the theory that people who talk about their intentions are less likely to make them happen, because research shows that

Since both actions and talk create symbols in your brain, talking satisfies the brain enough that it “neglects the pursuit of further symbols.

Basically, talking about it is enough to satisfy the brain that you’ve actually done it.  So this year, I’m keeping quiet.  I’ve asked a few close friends to hold me accountable to certain goals, but that’s it.  I will absolutely share and celebrate the goals I achieve along the way, and the process to get there, but because I’m being intentional about changing old habits in 2014, I’m trying something different.

How about you?  Are you a goal-setter?  Do you need accountability, or are you disciplined in being accountable to yourself?  Share or don’t share?  Please join in in the comments, so we can encourage each other through this journey.

 

A new year, and the start of a better me.

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Well hello there.  I feel like I’m really only introducing myself properly now with a photo, so hi there again.

I wrote last week about 2014 being the best year yet, and before that how my word for the year was love, with my intention to better love my whole self, body, mind and soul.  So this week I’m writing about what that will look like for me in a practical, everyday sense, in the hope of encouraging others in their own journeys.

I took this photo on Saturday, after a run in the morning and in the midst of planning and getting things done around the house (including an unplanned bathroom renovation – more on that to come!), as a ‘before’ shot to mark the beginning of this intentional health and wellness journey. 

I’ve been here before, but this is the time to take the wholistic approach – Spirit, mind, body and heart – and I’m already finding how much of a difference that makes. I’m not actually making any massive changes – I’ve already radically changed my diet over the last couple of years, and particularly the last couple of months, and I don’t plan on becoming a fitness queen , just committing to moving every day in some form. The biggest change for me is what goes on in my head – ‘I can’, instead of ‘I can’t’, and ‘I will’ instead of ‘I’ll do it later’, and accepting that a couple of minutes of pleasure from eating something that isn’t good for me just isn’t worth it. 

Over the last few months, I’ve worked out that by following a Paleo-based diet, I don’t have any headaches or aching in my joints.  Or feel bloated.  Or lethargic.  And I actually have energy!!!  I love that I’ve found a way of eating that creates optimum health for me.  I don’t like that it means missing out on the foods that I reeeaaallly love (bread, anything dairy, and yes, chocolate), and I’m focusing on not feeling like I’m missing out, rather that I have the incredible blessing of actually being able to choose to eat what is good for my body.

My daughter was recently identified as being intolerant to gluten, sugar and MSG, which means we’re currently changing her diet for her to feel better, too.  For a 12.5 year old girl who really enjoys good food, this is a challenge, but she’s being encouraged by the fact that I’m going through the same process, and my aim as her mum is to be the best role model I can be for her, so in a sense, she’s now my accountability.

I am just so grateful that in this current day and age, all I need to do is type a few words and hit ‘search’, and I can find any grain-gree, dairy-free, sugar-free, additive-free and anything-else-free recipe to add to our menu, making this process a whole lot easier.  Blogs such as The Paleo Mom, Nom Nom Paleo, The Clothes Make The GirlThe Nourished Life, The Healthy Chef and The Detoxinista have provided a wealth of information, encouragement and food options that are easy to incorporate into our family, along with my staple books Against All Grain, I Quit Sugar and The Metabolic Clock.  There is a huge amount of information online and in print, but as I’ve worked out by identifying my personality types, I work best with limited options, so I’m sticking to these sources of information.

Obviously, food and the choices I make regarding what I what eat are a huge part of my life, but it’s not the sole determinant of living in optimum health.  I find it relatively easy to change what I eat – getting moving, however, is a whole different challenge, one I’m still trying to work out.

I have been so unwell that I can’t walk, and had injuries that have prevented me from doing any exercise for lengthy periods of time.  So you would think that when I am well and not experiencing any limitations on my physical abilities, I would embrace any opportunity to move.

Um, no.

I’ve written before about how I give up when it gets too hard, how I prefer my couch and a good book over a walk or a run, and how I really don’t like that about myself.  In trying to change that, I’m focusing on what the barriers are I face every day to get myself moving, where is the resistance coming from?  And to be perfectly honest, I still really don’t know.  All I know is that to get moving, I have to make a conscious choice, and not go easy on myself.  I never, ever regret it, and as much as I may not like the activity at the time, I choose to do it because it is the best thing for my body, and it always feels great afterwards (maybe that’s the key – just focus on the afterwards!!!).  One thing I have discovered is that by having a running/walking buddy that I’m committed to meet up with makes it A LOT harder to skip or reschedule, and is working for me.

Food and exercise are only a couple of aspects of health and wellness for me, but they’re what I’m particularly focused on at the moment.  The changes are really pretty simple – don’t eat what isn’t good for me, and move every day.  Keeping in mind how good I feel when I stick to this, and my desire to be a great role model for my children,  makes it easier to resist temptation and get motivated.

I’d love to hear from you, and where you are in your health and wellness journey.  The beginning?  Middle?  Well-established?  At the I-don’t-have-a-clue stage?  Do you have any resources that you love and are staples in your life?  Please join in and share in the comments, the purpose of sharing my journey is to encourage anyone who comes across my path in life, and I love hearing other people’s stories.

2014 is already awesome!!!

2014 – The best year yet

I have lived the vast majority of my life in fear.

Fear of failure.

Fear of getting it wrong.

Fear it won’t be perfect.

Fear of disappointing someone.

Fear of offending someone.

Fear of conflict.

Fear of never being good enough.

Fear of not having enough.

Fear of not having control.

I could go on, and on, and on, but I think you get the idea.

It’s taken me until I’m 37.5 years old to truly realise that every area of my life has been shrouded in this cloak of heaviness, greyness, despair and hopelessness, to varying degrees, just subtle enough for me to not really recognise it for what it was.

But now, this year ahead, and for as long as I have left here on this earth?  No more.

No more letting fear stop me from doing what I was created to do, distracting me from my purpose and convincing me that I’m not enough.

I’m not under any illusion that there won’t be times when I will be afraid, but I don’t have to make choices out of fear.  I’ve known this intellectually for a long time, but it’s only now that that head knowledge has filtered down into my heart and soul.

And it comes from knowing that I am loved.  Wholly, truly, completely, wildly and unashamedly loved.

It’s time to start living in the truth, and not in fear.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  – Marianne Williamson

One of the biggest frustrations I’ve had with myself in my life is my lack of discipline and following through with goals I’ve set and intentions I’ve had. Virtually every time I’ve failed at something, it’s been because I’ve given up when it got too hard.  My inner spoiled brat would throw a tantrum and whine and cry and I’d give in and give up.  Funny, I don’t do that with my own kids, and yet my inner brat gets the better of me nearly every time.

Baby’s now being put in the corner.

2013 ended on a great note in regards to goal-setting and achieving, in that I completed my first Whole 30 program, and completed a 6.8km local fun run (the longest distance I’ve ever run).  It took me four goes to stick to and complete the Whole 30, and there were so many times I wanted to give up during training for the fun run.  But I didn’t, and that sense of achievement that came from following through on both goals was amazing.

So I’m taking that into 2014 with a new mindset –  a very intentional one, as I know that long held self-beliefs and habits and ways of doing things take time to change.  But the old has gone, and the new has come, and I’m choosing new.

I had the absolute pleasure of seeing Paul Colman live at the end of 2012, where he sang a beautiful Irish ‘drinking song’ that he had written, ‘The Best Is Yet To Come’.  It’s become one of my theme songs for 2014, I’m saying ‘here’s to the failures we’re leaving behind, cheers to the future, ’cause it’s just begun, and the best is yet to come’.

Tell me, what is going to make 201 your best year yet?

One little word (or not so little, as the case may be)

love

It’s such a seemingly small word, when you look at it.

Four letters.

One syllable.

Used everyday, in so many different contexts.

But love?

Is anything but small.

It is the cornerstone of life.

It is hard work, and messy, and gut-wrenching, and leaves us lying bleeding and weeping and wishing we’d never known what it is to love someone.

It is beautiful, and strong, and wonder and breathtaking, and teaches us what it is to exist in the sphere of life at large.

Paul tells us that until we are face-to-face with the One who loves completely, we are to trust, and hope and love.

And that the greatest of these, the biggest, the most important thing is love.

I wrote about love for The Nester’s 31 Days writing challenge, focusing on love-as-it-is-meant-to-be in 1 Corinthians 13.  It wasn’t easy.  It wasn’t a subject that could be explored and wrapped up neatly in 31 blog posts – how could it be, when love is something that takes a lifetime to learn about, by living it real?  And that we won’t fully understand until we are in the presence of Jesus, He who is love defined?

I’m 37.5 years old, and I feel like I’ve barely even skimmed the surface when it comes to knowing about love.  I’ve had many hard lessons in the realities of love – I would even go so far as to say the brutalities of love – but I am also living the breathtaking wonder of love Every. Single. Day.  Even though I don’t understand it.  Even though I resist it.  Even though I feel like I’m not worthy of it.

This is why love is my word for 2014.  I want to know more.

I want to know more how to fully love the people I do life with, to love as if my life depended on it.

I want to know what it is to embrace the love God has for me, the love that I hold at arm’s length.

I want to know what it is to love as Jesus does.

I want to truly live by loving God with all my heart, mind and soul.

I want to better love myself (my body, my soul, my mind) as Christ loves me.

I want to love extravagantly and without fear.

I want to know love as God created it, not love as the world has taught me.

No biggie.

Just one little word.

That has the power to change a life.

At least, I’m believing that it will change mine.

So tell me, how can this one little word change your life?  Do you think learning about (and living) love-for-real could change the fabric of your reality?  What do you know of live in your life lived-so-far?

I have much to learn, and if there’s one thing I know about this world, I cannot do that on my own.  I would love for you to join me on this journey, and learn the lessons that Love has for us.  Please leave a comment, or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram.  If I haven’t already, I’m so looking forward to meeting you 🙂

 

 

 

 

The year I blinked and nearly missed it

So for most of 2013, my life felt like this:

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via 

It was a year that can be best described as messy – it was neither the best or worst year of my life (although the best thing that could have happened, did happen), but it was a year of constantly having to deal with something, in all areas of my life.  Health, work, kids, family, house, finances – I was constantly putting out fires or trying to avert disaster or cleaning up the mess when things did fall apart.  It felt like I was on a carnival ride, going around and around at full speed, and I couldn’t get off.

By the time I finished work for the year a couple of weeks ago, all I wanted to do was hide away from the world and pretend it didn’t exist.  Just for a little while.  Just enough time to breathe, re-set and restore.  But as we all know, life doesn’t work like that, and that’s when I knew that the key to living well wasn’t trying to avoid the chaos, but to find the peace amongst it.

This is a new concept for me – not one that is unfamiliar, as these are the words Paul wrote about learning to live with peace within any circumstances.  What’s new for me is actually living that out in my life, which is pretty much a 180 degree turn from my usual state of being.

With that in mind, I looked back over 2013 and found the beauty that I knew was there, that I couldn’t see at the time.  So in the blogging tradition of one year ticking over to another, here are my highlights of the year that was.

What I learned in 2013:

1. I am actually an introvert.  This was a HUGE revelation for me, and explained so much about my personality.  I never would have said that about myself, and I’m sure that the vast majority of people who know me would agree. But after taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment, resulting in an INFJ type, discovering that I’m an introvert with extrovert elements to my personality made *so* much sense.

2. Further to finding out my MBTI type, I also discovered the Enneagram personality types.  I am an absolute, clear cut No. 9 (The Peacemaker), and the one single gem I took from the description was the difficulty in making choices and decision,and expressing and opinion, because of the ability to see the advantages and disadvantages of any option, and both sides of any argument.  This has really helped me in being intentional about reducing the options and choices in my life, because the less choice, the easier it is for me to make a decision.

3. I can be perceived as quite negative, which is never my intention, it comes from seeing both sides of a situation and expressing what I think might be a more ‘realistic’ point of view. And/or somewhat fatalistic. Which is often negative.  I’ve realised that this comes from my life experience, and feeling like nearly every thing goes wrong for me, therefore if I’m prepared for that, it won’t be as bad.  Optimisim hasn’t been my strong suit in life.

4. I actually can achieve goals I set for myself.  I’ve written before about how setting and achieving goals has never been one of my strong points, and I set out to change that last year.  I completed my first Whole30 (despite the fact that it took me 4 goes to start and actually finish), and I trained for and finished a 6.8km local fun run.  And I ran the whole way, without stopping.  Those two achievements have changed my outlook on what I can do in my life, and I have big plans for 2014!!!

5. The Whole30 challenge really showed me how much what I eat affects my health.  Dairy is the cause of my constant headaches.  Wheat (and actually grains in general) and sugar are like fuel to a fire when it comes to joint pain.  Eating clean is the best treatment for my arthritis, and the fleeting pleasure from eating what isn’t good for me just isn’t worth it.

6. Getting up at 5:00AM is awesome.  If I don’t have my quiet time before the rest of the house wakes up, my day inevitably goes pear-shaped.

7. I actually like and need structure and routine to my day.  Not down-to-the-second scheduling, but an outline of intention, with the ability to be flexible.

8. The biggest lesson for 2013?  God’s promises are always, always, always fulfilled.  Nearly 8 years ago God asked me to pray for my marriage to be restored, and promised that He would make the way for that to happen, and in 2013, it did.  My ex-husband asked me if we could start over again, and the rest is becoming our new history.

Favourite reads of 2013:

1. My hands-down favourite book last year was Emily Freeman’sA Million Little Ways‘.  Her words speak life and beauty into the every-day of living, that everything we do is art and we live as artists with every breath.  Go get a copy TODAY.

2. I discovered Andy Andrews, with ‘The Traveller’s Gift‘ and ‘The Noticer‘.  Beautiful, life-affirming words of wisdom and direction in both books, weaved into wonderfully told stories of people living life.

3. As always, anything from Jennifer Chiaverini.  I first ‘met’ the Elm Creek Quilters 14 years ago, and I feel like they’re old friends.  Her foray into historical fiction with the wonderful ‘Mrs Lincoln’s Dressmaker‘ did not disappoint.

4. Gary Thomas’ ‘Every Body Matters‘ absolutely helped me change the way I see my body and my health, seeing myself from God’s perspective rather than my own.  On my ‘to read again’ list for 2014.

Favourite movies of 2013:

This one, I’ve actually struggled to remember what I watched last year.  I watched a lot of movies in 2013, but the one that has embedded itself into my memory is ‘The Impossible’, the amazing true story of a family separated in the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami, and their mission to find each other again in the resulting chaos.  It is quite graphic in nature, but very much in context, and a beautiful story of determination and hope.

Favourite music of 2013:

1. I discovered Mumford and Sons at the end of 2012, and they very quickly became woven into the soundtrack of my life.  The words, the sound, their soul, I love every. single. thing about these guys, and the gift that they bring.

2. Bethel Music.  They fill me with their words of the love and hope of Christ.  What more can I say?

3. More Than RubiesChrista Wells and Nicole Witt.  Love, love, love.  Times infinity.

And I’m still loving JJ Heller, Tenth Avenue North, Jesus Culture, and basically anything else that makes my heart sing.

Favourite blogs of 2013:

I almost feel like i shouldn’t be writing this list, because I know I’ll leave someone off!  But my absolute favourite, never-miss-a-post list for 2013;

Yarn Harlot

The Art of Simple

Tsh Oxenreider

Chatting At The Sky

Jeff Goins

Nesting Place

Modern Mrs Darcy

A Holy Experience

Another Mother Runner

(in)Courage

zenhabits

Naptime Diaries

Tiny Twig Goes Out On A Limb

Young House Love

Bits & Pieces

Simple Marriage

Inspired to Action

The Handmade Home

Michael Hyatt

ytravel

Allison Vesterfelt

The Clothes Make The Girl

Nom Nom Paleo

Favourite place visited in 2013:

Without a doubt, hands-down winner is our trip to the Flinders Ranges earlier this year.  Stunning doesn’t even begin to describe the beauty of the Ranges, and despite two blown out tyres, a trip to a tiny local hospital after my shin collided with a rock and a day spent avoiding bees, it was one of my favourite holidays ever.

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2013-04-14 16.18.11

2013-04-16 12.05.36

2013-04-16 12.07.15

2013-04-16 18.06.29

2013-04-18 08.13.04

2013-04-18 11.07.40

(Side note: One of my 2014 goals??  Working on my photography (and editing) skills…..)

For now, that’s it.  2013 has been put away for what it was, a year of learning and growth and insight.  Despite it being a difficult period of life, it has set me up for an awesome 2014, which is going to be The Best Year Ever.

Tell me, what will you remember 2013 for?  Good? Not-so-good? Lessons?  Highs and lows?  Come and share in the comments.

*Linking to Anne’s link up over at Modern Mrs Darcy with my favourite reads for 2013.

Hello, 2014

via news.com.au

So this is pretty much how I feel about my life right now.

Even though my arthritis is currently flaring up after being under control for 18 months.

Even though my shower decided to shed its tiles and I’m now looking at having to re-tile and furnish my bathroom on a virtually zero budget.

Even though my once never-have-to-question-its-security job isn’t so rock solid at this point in time.

Even though I’m facing the year ahead with  a lot of uncertainty about what the future holds in every area of my life.

Even though I feel like I really have no idea what I’m doing with my life.

Somehow, this all doesn’t matter.  And if you know me, you know that’s a big deal for me to say, because historically, I’m not very good at not letting all the ‘stuff’ of life overwhelm me.

But now?  Now is time for all that to change.

This post I wrote after completing The Nester’s 31 Days writing challenge sums up how I’ve felt and lived much of my adult life, and I know I’m not alone.  So many of my friends and other women I live life with feel the weight of not enough, of the expectation to do more, be more, to be everything everyone expects them to be.

I don’t know about you, but I’m so tired of this being the soundtrack of my life, and I’m not listening to it anymore.

No more listening to the voice in my head that says ‘You can’t/ it won’t work/ you always fail/ you’re never good enough’ and so on and so on.

No more expecting to fail.

No more believing that dreams are for other people.

No more being distracted by what I don’t have and think I need.

No more giving up because it’s too hard/uncomfortable/boring.

No more, so I can live more.

Jesus came so that I can life this life of mine as wholly and completely and full-to-bursting as I can.  And I intend to grab it with both hands and shake out every last drop.

Every year at this time I go through the process of setting goals and think ‘this time it will be different’, but time and time again I get to December 31 and think ‘well that didn’t end well.  Again’.  This year, I’m taking a different tack.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to take the time to be intentional about my intentions for the year ahead.  Not resolutions, not simply setting goals, but really looking at the changes I want to make in my life and being intentional about implementing them.

This is new for me, and one thing I’ve learnt in 2013 is that having someone to journey with and be accountable to is really effective when it comes to staying on track.  So I’m asking you, you dear, wonderful readers who spend some of your precious time reading these words of mine, to join me in this journey.  I don’t know exactly how yet, or what this whole process will look like, but if I can encourage and cheer on anyone willing to walk with me, then it would be my pleasure to be able to do that.

I would love it if you’d drop into the comments and tell me what it is that would make 2014 different for you, things you want to change or achieve or how you would be encouraged along the way.

2014.  It’s going to be awesome.